Category: Compassion

How to Develop Compassion in the Midst of This Madness: 5 Practices.

Well, it can be difficult to have compassion in this time of madness. In fact, how else should we call what’s happening today? Isn’t it madness when a person decides to strap explosive around his body, letting himself blow up at the end of a pop concert killing and injuring teenagers, like it happened at the end of Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester? Or, isn’t it madness, when a few men decide to drive a van into crowds of people enjoying their Saturday night, as it just happened in London? Unfortunately, we have been witnessing lots of madness recently,...

Read More

3 steps to build rapport and feel deeper connected with others (lesson in leadership).

For the past 25 years, I have been flying into conflict areas, primarily to Colombia. I sat down with drug kingpins at their ranch. I talked to leaders of armed insurgency groups. I walked the alleys of marginal barrios with members of death squads. I facilitated ceasefire talks between a guerrilla and the government. I listened to members of gangs. In all these instances, I had to know how to build rapport. In fact, I learned that building rapport is essential to success. I would have not be able to gain insights, understand a situation, and even influence decisions,...

Read More

3 Strategies for Effective Rapport Building

In 25 years of conflict resolution work around the world, I learned that building rapport is essential to success. I would have not be able to gain insights, understand a situation, and even influence decisions, were it not because I gained the trust of my interlocutors. And building rapport is the first step to building trust. It might be even get to the point when building rapport can safe your life. It was the trust I had built with a young man, the member of a death squad, that allowed me to learn that someone was planning my kidnapping....

Read More

The Time I Messed Up During a Negotiation

We are often scared of failure. But the truth is, there is no such thing as failure. In life, there is only feedback. We learn a great deal from our mistakes. Bernard Shaw once wrote that experience is the name we give to our mistakes. I add: I have lots of experience. And for that I am grateful, because if today I can help people through my teaching, training and coaching, it’s in great part because I made mistakes throughout my life. There is a reason why I have gray hair! Recently I had the chance to share one...

Read More

4 Secrets of Successful Negotiations to Upgrade Your Relations

Whether you are dealing with a grumpy teenager; or whether you are putting up with a boss that makes your life miserable; or whether you are engaging with a difficult person, knowing some of the techniques employed by successful negotiators will help you to have a better and easier life. That is a better result than feeling out of control, isn’t it? In my latest post in Psychology Today, I examine 4 secrets employed by successful negotiators to reach effective agreements (I present only 4, but if you are interested in all 8 the secrets I teach in my seminars and courses, you can download my infograph here). Here is a quick overview of what I present in my Psychology Today post that you can read here: Secret #1: Know What You Want. Clarity of purpose is key for a successful negotiation. Secret #2: Know The Other Side. Not only know the interests of the other part, but identify also the human needs he or she is trying to satisfy with his/her behavior. Secret #3: Prepare Options for Mutual Gain. Don’t focus only on yourself. Consider options that satisfy both your and the other’s needs and interests. Secret #4: Listen. In listening (and not in telling or talking down) rests the first powerful step towards change and transformation. If you want to read more about these four secrets, go...

Read More

Get Free Report & Updates

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Thanks requesting the ebook,

Check your inbox right now for a link to download it!